a gentle reminder
April 25, 2011
— death animals dogs "my dogs"
Anyone who knows even the slightest bit about me knows that I’m all about my dogs. They (you) also know that about three years ago, I was standing on the edge of the biggest, blackest hole I’d ever encountered. It’s a very long story; some of it can be found in my Flickr photostream (though I’ve long deleted many of those dark posts). But below is one of the original posts about that period. I like to republish it every year or so for a few reasons. It gives me solace. We are all, at different points in our lives, going through this, sometimes over and over and over. But mostly as a gentle reminder–to myself and to others–that you should take some time out every day and give the animals who own you a big snorgle. Imprint their scent, the feel of their fur, on you. Remember how glorious this feels, because one day, that memory is all that you will have to comfort you.
is there anything more sobering than the 3 seconds immediately following the injection of the fluid?
of course, it’s not really just 3 seconds. it’s days, weeks, months and years. it’s the same 3 seconds that you think about over and over and replay in your mind and it’s one of those things that you know you can never, ever take back and that is just the oddest feeling, you know? because you can take almost anything back. you can do it again. you can change your mind.
but in those 3 seconds, the reality that you cannot change your mind, you cannot make a different choice or relive it, stops your heartbeat. your head spins, but the world doesn’t. you hear things, mostly silence. and it’s loud.
and when you’re driving down the road, you’re thinking of an appointment that you have to be at, and your mind is on a thousand things all at once and then, the 3 seconds comes back to you. and you relive them.
all over again.
[click on the image to see large]
xo & snorgles to all the babies we’ve rescued over the years; and to those who have rescued us.