Bride vs. photographer
November 9, 2010
Nobody likes it. Everyone wants to avoid it. But it’s something that all of us encounter on a daily basis. Whether with a boss, a family member or even a client (or, in the client’s case, a vendor), or even that barista who corrects you every time you say “large” (omg. when are you going to learn it’s a Venti?).
The only other thing people avoid more than conflict is talking about the conflict.
Except for me…and, as it turns out, one of my brides.
I think conflict is not only OK to experience, it’s necessary to acknowledge, confront and resolve. Not just with friends and family but with everyone. If you think about it, accepting and resolving a conflict is one of the best ways you’re going to get to know someone better. And by resolving, I don’t mean apologize, or back off. I mean speak what’s on your mind (in a polite way, of course) and work together, you know, collaborate, on a solution.
Early on in my talks with Fisayo & Blaise, everything started out just great with hugs and squee’s and planning, and then there was a little bump in the road. Through a couple of innocent misunderstandings on both our parts, we found ourselves on opposite ends of a conflict that actually had me thinking I might not be the right photographer for their wedding.
But Fisayo & Blaise, bless their adult hearts, were open to talking it over. And we did. We talked about what our expectations had been, how we could adjust them, and how we’d like to deal with each other in the future.
And wow. Guess what happened? When we met again for their e-session, the first time we were to talk since that big, scary conflict, we greeted one another with hugs, squeezes, laughter and a new respect for one another. And, a new friendship.
All the misunderstandings cleared up, and the knowledge that we could talk things over instead of harboring questions and “meh” feelings left all of us with the wonderful freedom of just being ourselves — and I think that shows in their photos. I can’t count the number of times I heard them say that day, “this is fun!” and “I want to do this again!” Oh man, I totally heart them. 🙂
How awesome is it for them to know that when their wedding day approaches, they’ll have a photographer (and friend) who will stand by their side and work with them through what is probably going to be the most hectic day of their lives. And how lucky am I to have clients who don’t put on any of the client poofy, hoo-ha act and who genuinely like me, respect me and my work, and most of all, trust me to chronicle their day.
I’m telling you, there’s something to be said for a good fight. You know, you really should try it some time.